A BIRTHDAY DUET, Originally published in Signal Mountain Review
I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop since September 2014 when my 21-year-old son went AWOL from residential treatment in North Carolina. Max had unraveled about a year earlier as a college freshman in Olympia — a result of copious amounts of alcohol, various recreational drugs, mania, and complete deregulation…Read More

The Puppy and the Pandemic 
Here we are: Robert and me and our puppy, Asher. Sheltering in place in our large, white living room with its high ceilings and three bay windows. In the San Francisco Victorian we bought over 20 years ago. It is like being in a waiting room. We wonder when we will be called back out into the world as we knew it only weeks ago…Read More

Letting Go, Originally published in Crack the Spine
I kept a firm grip on my eight-ounce cup of freshly brewed Starbucks while whispering a barely audible “Thank you” as I paid the cashier presiding over the mélange of doctors, nurses, and visitors in the hospital cafeteria. I made my way slowly to the elevator, trying to think of some distraction to delay my ascent from the street level to the sixth floor; I made a detour to the ladies’ room. I was terrified. The prospect of helping my sister and brother decide how long we would sustain my mother’s life overwhelmed me…Read More

Eulogy for Cinnamon
Can it really be only 4 weeks since my girl died?? I miss her terribly and waking up in the morning without her is so painful. It is as if a part of me is gone. Where is she? Why isn't she lying next to me so I can pet her and cuddle and discuss "what are we going to do today?" She doesn't come upstairs for breakfast, or curl up on her bed aside the kitchen island. She loved that spot, especially when I turned on the electric mixer to mix and bake some sweet thing she couldn't have...though she was always hopeful. She doesn't assume the waiting pose every night after dinner so she can help us clean up in the magnificent way she could ...by licking clean the pots we used for cooking soup, or pasta, or fish or polenta! She no longer lies on her bed in my office while I write! Read More

The Quest
"Not everything is a sign, but it may mean you are on the right track." So said Luke when I shared what I was sure was a bit of karma pointing me to adopt the brindled puppy who would soon travel from Arkansas to California. I am sure that adopting a child is more intricate, but winding my way through this canine maze has been complicated and emotional. For the moment my human guide is Betsy. A mutual friend introduced us. Her chosen nickname is short for Elizabeth. She has a 7-year old son whose name is Niko. I prefer "Elizabeth" to any abbreviation, and my 26-year old son is Nico with a "c" instead of a "k." I am sure that such random coincidences are not accidental…Read More

Lips to Read
When I think about lip reading I imagine being able to know and hear without anyone identifying me. To be invisible for a time. To be able to approach without reprimand. It would be particularly useful at restaurants. When the conversation in front of me is prohibitive. When I am bored or restless, I can look across the room and find the most luscious pair of lips. Maybe red with lipstick or chapped. Maybe the soft lips of a child or the ones with wrinkled corners. I would not worry about a reprimand because I am invisible. Most likely the conversation and those conversing would never be people I would chose to approach, not under any circumstances…Read More